| Giving more when you wanna give up, |
[Jan. 11th, 2020|12:00 am] |
Post anything you want here. Any story, secret, family, what you think about me, problem, trouble, obsession, love, thoughts. I promise you it wouldn't hurt you, I promise you to listen. I promise you to give my heart's thoughts and to never judge you. |
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[Oct. 28th, 2011|01:47 pm] |
I found myself replaying all my favorite memories of us - the stolen glances, the stifled laughter, the short moments we had just to ourselves. And when your eyes met mine, you smiled because you knew.
So this week has been hectic and crazy and I almost, no wrong, I did break down a couple of times.
Went running after getting super pissed off with someone on Friday. Hehe, thanks kx for going to run to supper with me though we both didn't eat and the rest did. Was really so pissed off/affected by everything he said that I cried to sleep, first time in a super long time, honest. But I had awesome friends to talk me through things, thanks friends. :)
Ok, that aside, Halloween planning drove me crazy too. I'm so happy it's over and I'm quite happy with how it turned out. I couldn't sleep the night before cause I was pretty stressed up. I woke up when Joey messaged me to ask if he could talk to me at 2AM in the morning about the event, I said okay and I'd be down in a while. Then looked around me and realized, wth, I'm at home and texted him to say I was at home and not in hall. He told me yesterday he then figured how stressed up I was.
It's been a long week, I'm glad today's friday. Oh and during training on Tuesday I sprained my ankle while attempting backtuck. Hehe, shall show y'all a video! (not of me, of course)
Failed like mad, ended up spraining my ankle and not being able to do anything for the rest of the training, loser max. I wanna faster get it over and done with, learn it and be able to do it cause not being able to do something and have to try it is damn scary, hate the feeling. :( So yes, today, I shall do it, I must.
2 quizzes next week, goodness.
Okay, just a little update for the sake of it, byeeee~ |
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| Words don't suffice. |
[Oct. 23rd, 2011|04:30 pm] |
I had an amazing birthday, thank you to all those who played a part in it, love y'all.
Best posted a post for me which made me feel a mild aching tug in my heart. How we've drifted, how things seem so different right now. I won't deny, I can't deny it. Some part of me wishes we weren't in different schools, yet another part of me is thankful that we are. I know what she meant when she said she missed me though we just saw each other a few hours ago. Miss the times spent together without having to make an effort to. The times when we really laughed, and we really cried, and we really just threw down all walls and pretenses because we knew we could, with each other.
Has it changed, I asked myself, and I find myself confident, with the answer, no.
To my 2 best friends in the whole world, I love both of you, so much. I know things are different, I know I've been too busy and I've not been a friend that I know I should be. I know things are different from what they used to be, but at the core of it, I really want the both of you to know I love you. When the road gets tough, it's the both of you that I want to talk and turn to. When something really happy happens, it's still the two of you that I want to tell the good news to first. At random times in the day, it's still the two of you that my thoughts return to, wishing sometimes that I was with y'all instead of being with the new friends I've made because it's only with the two of you that I can really truly be myself. No masks, no need for smiles when I don't feel like it.
But yet, this is the path all of us were meant to take. This is the path in which all of us are going to grow to who we were meant to be, to blossom into the persons that we are called to become. And sometimes though bitter, that I'm the only one, when both of you have each other, I've come to realize that it is through this that I really see how much I treasure and love this friendship we share. It is because I'm without the two of you that I'm forced to make new friends and come to realize that none of those new friendships will ever come close to what we already share. And though sometimes it gets hard to face things on my own, it's the knowledge that y'all are there for me, regardless of whether I tell y'all what's happening or not, that gets me through the tough days.
I hope y'all never get tired of keeping our friendship together. I know I can be a pain in the ass because I don't share much, but I hope y'all know I already do share the most with you. That it isn't because I don't wanna tell you what happens in my life, but because it just isn't me to do so. I always share with you my innermost thoughts and fears, and I hope that shows how much I treasure you guys.
There's so much I want to say, but so little time. I love you, Deborah and Jem.
And yes, I still hope we find ourselves 60 years from now, drinking tea, watching our grandchildren and laughing about past times.
And friends are friends forever, if the Lord's is Lord of them.
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| Run proud and remember you're alive. |
[Oct. 15th, 2011|04:59 pm] |
Yesterday was an emotionally tough day. I was tearing so much during training that Leslie asked if I was crying. And then continued on to chase me and did stupid things to try to cheer me up. It's tough, everything's tough right now. But I'll be alright, I know.
Anyway, they celebrated birthday for me yesterday during training :) Aw.
Love these people because they're the ones who nag me not to go for training because of my back or because I am extremely tired and they think I'm gonna faint and die. People always think I'm gonna faint and die, why? The coaches who used to scold me like crazy are actually encouraging me now. I don't know what more I can ask for, really. OH, hahaha, maybe for them to stop calling me FAT :(
Didn't sleep at all last night because I was rushing out presentation, am super tired now.
Gotta finish up halloween proposal and sms all my sub com and hopefully head to bed soon.
The sotong queen is amusing me with what's app right now. Total gibberish of nonsense, seriously.
What do I say now? I am blessed; And I never wanna forget that. |
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| Destroy everything you love before everything you love destroys you. |
[Oct. 14th, 2011|12:44 pm] |
The sad moment when you find an old conversation between you and someone you don't talk to anymore.
This week has been crazy, I am so drained.
I find myself wanting to cry so many times. It's like a never ending to-do list, a never ending chase to meet those endless datelines. I'm tired. Accounting mid terms is just over, and now I need to prepare for presentation, do up halloween proposal and get the decor up in 3 days. I need a breather, I need a little time to catch my breath.
Now now, don't you cry, you're stronger than that.
I think I'm stressed, my period's 3 week late.. Again.
I don't know how to handle this stress; Come on, press on.
Don't think I'd have survived this week if not for my friends. They really do keep me sane. Last night I went to training almost in tears cause mid terms was crazy difficult, and they really did cheer me up. Not in a tactful way, they rubbed it in my face that I'm gonna fail, haha, but I know where they're coming from, and I know they all were trying hard to make training less demanding for me. Went for supper with them after jcrc meeting too.
I just need a little time to catch my breath.
It's through tough times that you grow, I keep telling myself.
Going to run to can2 later with vivi for dinner with the cheer dudes.
Love vivi deep deep, social secs ftw hahaha.
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